valstrengthtraining

Working in the gym can be quite interesting. I probably do not see as much drama as other Fitness Professionals but I still have observed quite a few incidents…

Athletes want to improve performance, people want to be stronger. The Strength Coach would assess, design a training plan, and then implement it. But from what I observed and experienced, a lot of people want something fancy. They want fancy exercise names, fancy equipment, they want coaches on their left side, right side, front and back to tell them how good they are. Let them do squats and they say the upper back is painful, or it is not sport specific enough. Let them do the squat in front of a camera and they would be squatting before you can even say “S” of the squat. Have them undergo a circuit and they say it’s tiring. Then, one day this kid saw an advertisement of a “hypoxic” mask which is quite expensive. It is no different from the cheap industrial masks worn to protect against some fumes. But the advertisement must have been really convincing. The athlete thinks he is so cool when he wears those contraptions since he sounds like Darth Vader. He does the circuit plus other circus exercises because he thinks he is so awesome and special and he feels like he is training hard. I was about to ask him to quit it when another guy comes in wearing skin tight tights that it divides his testicles left and right. He probably thinks he is a ballerina but it is what makes him come and train. I was out of words when another guy comes in, hair in disarray with “jewels” unplucked from his eyes. Ok, it’s either he is in his morning look but he looks more like a zombie in the gym.

Then there are those who have rock star fantasy. They wear those big, electric blue shades in the gym with matching hair. I have to turn off some of the lights, it must have been too bright.

Sometimes a guy comes in, loads the olympic bar with 2.5kg on each side, then does something which a cross between a dance move and a convulsion. It’s as if he was bitten by a zombie and is turning into one. Or them and their outstanding coaches who load the bench press with 40 kg total, and attach some weights with elastic bands… So out of this world training. They have not even developed maximum strength and they are doing those training tweaks to squeeze out max strength- which is not even there. They must have watched too many youtube videos.

There is also this guy who comes in using a Loftstrand crutch. He then goes to the side, prepares the plyo boxes, then does box jumps! Amaaazing…

And then this is one of the worst… As I was about to babysit, (I mean train), some kids, their sports coach comes and chats with me. Some parents were complaining that when I started teaching the kids how to lift, they were sore the next day. That probably I should take it easy. A paleo zombie must have eaten my walnut sized brain! I cannot understand what is going on. I was told to squeeze in 30 minutes to “train” some kids. I made clear to the management that I am coaching a senior team at that time who are supposed to be having the attention of the coaches, but I was told to squeeze in the kids. I told them the kids are a lot better off practicing their sport, or just let them enjoy and play. But the management has decided to agree with a big potato’s idea of adding some more training session for the kids in the form of weight training. Nothing wrong with weight training for kids, but in this city where I work, they bombard their kids with a very high volume of school work, and too many after school activities. Bedtime for them is 11:00 or 12 midnight. I was supposed to do my job. Yet when I do it, I was supposed to agree with something which is out of line. And when I actually teach the kids what they are supposed to be learning and experiencing in the gym, they should not be sore… WTF??? it stands for Where’s The Fart?

Now I am starting to think this is a costume party of some sort. Then what should I be? Oh, I forgot. I must play my part as the babysitter – cheerleader – grim reaper… Just great.. I need more coffee..